A Game of Chase
by Court Jester 21
Summary: Alicia can't hold her tongue and gives Will a piece of her mind. What will happen next? Post ep for The Seven Day Rule, later chaps will include bits from the spoiler for Red Team/Blue Team.
1. Chapter 1

_Love, love, love next week's promo. This is something that I started before seeing it, but will try to work this new information into a later chapter. Enjoy this for now, more coming soon._

_Did you think these were my characters? You didn't? I didn't think so. I would never be so bold as to claim them for myself._

Alicia wearily packed up her things to go home after another long day at work. She'd put on her gracious "Saint Alicia" face for the partners the night before, but she had neither the energy or the need for that now. There was no one left to see her sour expression at this time of night.

When Will and Diane sat her down earlier in the week, she'd thought that all of her hard work was finally paying off. Someone was noticing that she was here late so often, even with a family to go home to. How quickly that compliment had become a slap in the face.

Alicia sighed as she shut the door to her office and walked to the elevators. Everything was dark and she dropped her guard even more, assuming that no one else was here. She pressed the button to call the elevator to the 28th floor. As she waited, she debated whether to call Peter. It sure would be nice to have something to distract her from her issues at work.

She was startled from her thoughts by a hand on her shoulder. She turned around quickly to see Will standing behind her, his belongings collected to head home for the night as well. She must have been wearing a dumbfounded look on her face, because Will made it apparent that he was repeating his question as he asked, "Alicia, are you alright?"

She was thankful to see the elevator doors opening before them as she replied, "Umm...yeah." She knew it didn't sound convincing, but she hoped he wouldn't call her on it.

They stepped into the elevator and Alicia pushed the button for the parking level. The doors closed on them in silence.

Will turned to her as he broke the silence, "Look, Alicia, I know you're upset about the other fourth year associates, but don't think that it's a reflection on your performance. You've earned this!"

Alicia just nodded, biting her tongue and staring at the elevator's buttons in front of her. She was trying to come up with an appropriate response, something that wouldn't get her in trouble. She must have taken too long for Will's comfort, because he spoke her name. Unconsciously, she turned to him, unable to hide the emotions on her face.

"Alicia, I..." he stopped when he saw her face. "What is it? What's bothering you?"

His words set her off. In the back of her mind, something told her to stop, to control those emotions raging up inside her but she was too worn down to listen. She furrowed her brow, spitting her words out at him in anger. "Should it not bother me that I'm just a financial opportunity? After I've worked so hard, I'm supposed to be grateful about the position you've put me in? Either I spend money I don't have to buy into a firm that may go down in 6 months and only sees me as a dollar sign, or I turn down a promotion that may never come again. Do you know what will happen to my family if I lose that money to the firm, if the firm goes down? You could have at least been honest with me instead of trying to deceive me with flattery."

She made herself stop. This wasn't fair to him, and she knew it. It had been a business decision, not a personal one, but it still hurt.

Will had turned his eyes down at the beginning of her rant, similar to what he and Diane had done in court while she was being questioned. He met her eyes now, wearing his typical poker face as he said, "Alicia, I'm sorry you feel that way about it."

The elevator announced their arrival in the parking area, and in the split second before the doors opened Alicia breathed a sigh of relief that she would soon be escaping this increasingly awkward conversation. She began to step out of the elevator without a word.

"Alicia," Will called to her from behind. He was racking his brain for the right words, but he just couldn't find them quickly enough for her.

Alicia turned back over her shoulder, cutting her eyes to him but not making full eye contact. "At least now I know where I stand," she said coldly before turning and walking toward her car.

Will just stood in shock. Was that what they had done to her? They weren't thinking about it that way when they did it. They thought the associates would jump at the opportunity to advance their careers. He hadn't thought of her as an individual, just one of the many people that worked underneath him. The elevator doors began to close on him and he realized that he hadn't moved.

He bolted from the elevator, knowing that he needed to talk to her. "Alicia," he called out to her from across the parking lot. She was near her car now, but he knew that she could hear him in the nearly empty lot. "Alicia," he called again, desperate not to end things like this tonight. She didn't turn around. She stepped into her car and started the engine, refusing to look at him. He picked up his pace, trying to reach her before she drove away, but he was too late. He watched her tail lights speed away in the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

_The story continues. . . read on and enjoy!_

_These characters still aren't mine. . . just in case you were wondering._

Will reached quickly for his phone and found her number. Lifting the phone to his ear, he sprinted for his car. He was backing out of his parking space seconds later, as he reached her voice mail. Of course she wouldn't answer him. She wouldn't even turn around and talk to him face to face.

His temper got the best of him as he punched the screen to end the call. He pressed his foot to the gas, determined to catch up with her. He couldn't let her think those things any longer. They needed to work this out, for both their professional relationship and their personal one.

As he exited onto the street, he saw her just a few cars ahead of him, stopped at the intersection. He dialed her number again as he pulled up to the light. Once again, her voice mail picked up. "You have reached Alicia Florrick. . . " her voice echoed into his ear. He quickly hung up and redialed her number. Even if she wouldn't answer, he was going to send her a message. He had something to say to her. He knew her. Eventually her conscience would kick in and tell her to answer.

The light turned green and the line of cars in their lane began to go. He continued to follow her across town, managing to make it through every intersection behind her. There was still a car between them, but luckily Alicia was a cautious driver and stopped for every yellow light. At some point in their game of chase, he realized that she wasn't driving home. Where was she going this late at night? Did she need to pick up her kids somewhere? Was she meeting someone?

Will was suddenly skeptical about his decision to follow her. She still hadn't answered any of his calls, though he hadn't stopped hitting redial each time he heard her recorded voice. Maybe this was a big mistake. Maybe he needed to leave her alone. But there was no harm in following her, right? She didn't have to know about it. When they got to where she was going, he would decide if he should approach her or not.

His phone was ringing in his ear once again as he tried to get through to Alicia. Voice mail. Redial. Silence. Voice mail. He looked at the phone, confused. It hadn't rung at all before going to voice mail. He hung up and tried again with the same result. She had turned her phone off.

He chucked the phone into the floorboard of the passenger side and punched the gas. Now he was angry too. He tried to pass the car between them without luck. He stayed back behind the spacer car, hoping that he wouldn't lose her in the traffic.

***  
When the phone rang with Will's name on the caller ID for the third time, Alicia sighed and leaned back in the driver's seat. She just wanted to go home and forget this day. Ok, maybe not home. She had been thinking about calling Peter tonight. She hoped he wasn't at home. She didn't want to start meeting at their old house. She didn't want him to get her into a bed. She wanted it quick and painless. No commitments, no entanglements, nothing like their marriage had been previously.

She picked up the phone when it stopped ringing and called Peter before Will could call her again. Peter answered and in her most husky voice, she asked him if he was busy. She could hear his smile when he said he was just finishing at an event and was heading back to the bus. A few minutes later, Alicia had a destination and Peter was ending the call to find something to occupy Eli and Jordan and keep them away from the bus for awhile.

The constant beeping of call waiting in her ear had been annoying, and she had very little patience when the phone started ringing again after she hung up. She knew she should answer. He was her boss. She should answer and apologize for her behavior.

She held the phone for a moment, then dropped her hand to the seat. She would apologize tomorrow. Tonight, she was going to try and relieve all of this tension that had been building up inside her all week. She picked up the phone again to turn it off and kept driving towards her husband's campaign bus.

***  
Will watched Alicia's car turn into a parking lot and he followed behind. He had been caught at a light and was now farther behind her, but he was thankful to keep her within his sight. As she was parking the car, he turned in and saw Peter's campaign bus parked there among the other vehicles. He watched her to see where she was going and decide the best way to approach her. She opened the door to the campaign bus and climbed on, shutting the door behind her.

_Great_, he thought to himself. _This is just great. Now if I want to talk to Alicia, I'll have to deal with Peter as well. _

He sighed, pulling the car into a parking space not far from Alicia's car. This end of the lot was pretty empty, as most of the event's attenders had parked nearer to the entrance of the building. He sat for a moment. What was he going to do? Sit here and wait for her to come out? Go up to the door and knock? That didn't seem like a good idea.

Will was so wound up with energy and anger that he couldn't imagine sitting in that car very long. He exited his vehicle and began pacing back and forth in the dimly lit parking lot. His path started near his car, but he ended up meandering nearer and nearer to the bus with each turn he made. He sorted through his thoughts, calming himself down so that he could have a rational conversation with Alicia. He figured out what he wanted to tell her, how he would say it. He wanted to smooth over his professional relationship with her and ease her disappointment in the situation as her friend.

As he came closer to the bus, a sound interrupted his thoughts. _Am I dreaming? _he thought silently. The only time he was hearing Alicia sound like that these days was in his dreams. He took a few steps closer and confirmed what he feared. Alicia was having sex with Peter on the bus. His eyes widened as the realization washed over him. He looked around the parking lot for witnesses to this unbelievable act, but no one else was around. Alicia's voice was quieter now, but there was a distinct knocking sound that continued and, if he was truly honest with himself, the bus was rocking slightly back and forth.

"Alicia," he whispered to himself in disbelief. He wasn't sure how long he stood there, frozen in his amazement that she had truly gone back to him. He'd seen her with him on tv, but he kept trying to convince himself that it was just for the campaign. Apparently not. When he heard their voices inside, muffled, but obviously having a verbal conversation now instead of a physical one, he realized that he needed to get out of there. He would call Alicia, leave her a voice mail and talk to her at work tomorrow. He turned and walked towards his car.

Had his mind not been quite so foggy with the truth he had just learned or his heart quite so broken, maybe he would have walked a bit faster and made it out of the parking lot before Alicia left the bus. As was the case, he did not.

He heard the door to the bus swing open behind him, but he kept walking towards his car and hoping that she wouldn't recognize him in the dark parking lot. Of course, no one else was around and there were very few cars parked at their end of the lot. It was a longshot, but he still hoped she wouldn't see him. He was reaching for the door handle when he heard her say behind him, "Will?" Her voice betrayed the disbelief she felt that he would be here now.

Will turned back to face her, noticing that Peter was not accompanying her. "Alicia, I'm sorry. We'll talk tomorrow," he said briskly. He couldn't have that conversation with her tonight. Not after what she'd just been doing.

"Will, what are you doing here?" she asked, still completely surprised by his presence. He met her face and noticed that the tension that had settled in her expression the last few days was gone. She was relaxed. Yeah, he bet she was relaxed.

"Alicia, I shouldn't..." he trailed off. Letting out a sigh, he decided to give her the explanation she deserved. She was right, he owed her the truth even when it was hard to swallow. "I followed you. I didn't want to leave it the way we left it back at work, so I followed you. I just wanted to talk, Alicia, I didn't want to interfere with anything." The look on his face told her that he was suspicious of what she'd been doing on the campaign bus.

Though the lighting was dim, Will could tell by her expression that she was blushing. She averted her eyes for a moment, then looked back at him again. "Ok," she said, spreading her hands open as she exhaled. "Ok, let's talk." She paused, waiting for what had been so important that he had followed her across town.

"Tomorrow, Alicia. I think you've been busy enough tonight," he spoke bitterly as he opened the door to his car. He was about to climb in, drive off and leave it at that.

"No, Will, you wanted to talk. Let's clear the air. Whatever you want to say, just say it." Her angry tone had returned to her voice as she dared him to say what he was thinking.

Will just shook his head, lifting his foot to climb into the car. He stopped and turned back to meet her eyes. The cold look he gave her drove a knife right into her stomach. "You know, now we both know where we stand," he said calmly but with obvious hurt in his eyes and his tone. He slammed the door and revved his engine before speeding away from her, alone in the dark and the cold.


	3. Chapter 3

_Here is Chapter 3, I hope that you like it!_

_If you don't see a new episode of The Good Wife on tonight instead of the Grammy's, you'll know that I had absolutely nothing to do with the show. I'd make the Grammy's stop and wait for Alicia to have her meltdown in the elevator before they could continue giving out awards. So, you see, not mine._

Alicia stood in the dark for a moment, watching as he drove away from her. Shaking her head, she brought herself back to her senses. What was she doing? She did need to talk to him, to apologize for the argument they'd had earlier and to explain what had just happened. She didn't want him to be this angry with her tomorrow. No, she had to see him tonight.

Alicia jumped into her own car and followed after him. She figured he would probably head to his apartment, but maybe not. She tried to stay close behind him in the traffic, mimicking his behavior earlier in the evening. She worried that he would see her following him and wondered if he had worried about the same thing when he had been following her before.

He seemed to be following the predictable route back to his apartment, driving very fast. It was all Alicia could do to keep up with him and hope that she wouldn't get stopped for speeding. About half way there, Will went through an intersection on a yellow light and the car in front of Alicia stopped. She had no choice but to stop, ceasing her pursuit of Will. When the light changed, she continued to drive to his apartment, hoping that she would find him there. Every time she hit an intersection at a red light, she felt the distance growing between her and Will. She knew he'd made it through ahead of her. Would she ever get to him? What would she say when she got there?

Alicia froze. She hadn't thought about what she'd say. What would she tell him about Peter? She didn't even know what was going on with Peter. How was she supposed to explain it to him?

How would Will know about she and Peter anyway? She could tell that he'd suspected it when she got off of the bus, but she could say that she was involved in campaign business. That part was true and he knew that from the media.

Hitting the gas pedal when the light turned green again, she tried to clear these thoughts from her head. She had to find him first. She desperately hoped that he wasn't stopping off at a bar to get drunk before going home. Or maybe he was seeing someone. Would he go to meet her first?

All she could do was drive to his apartment and see if he was there. She couldn't search the entire city of Chicago for her boss/ex-lover/friend-of-20-years.

When she finally stopped in front of his building, she burst from the car and tore to the entrance. She tried to compose herself in the elevator, but the butterflies in her stomach simply would not calm down. She approached his door and knocked quickly. She listened to see if she could hear anything inside. Maybe that was a TV? Or maybe it was coming from a neighbor's apartment. She knew from experience that the building had very thin walls.

She raised her hand and rapped her knuckles again on the door. _If he doesn't answer in a few minutes, I'll give him a call, _she thought to herself. There was no need. She heard footsteps approaching the door. There was a long pause and the door did not open. How long had it been? It felt like an hour, but was that just because she was so on edge right now? Was he trying to ignore the fact that she was standing at his door?

Finally she heard the door unlocking and the knob turning. She was very surprised when she caught a glimpse of Will as he opened the door. His eyes were rimmed in red and slightly swollen. She had never seen him like this. It almost looked like he'd been crying, but that wasn't fathomable. Why would Will cry over a stupid fight? Will didn't cry.

"Hi," she said, offering a smile as a peace offering.

"Hi," he replied, shortly. He tilted his head down, trying not to look at her.

"I don't want to leave things the way we left them either," Alicia stated. "Can we just talk like adults?"

Will nodded and stepped aside to allow her to enter. Shutting the door, he motioned that she take a seat on his couch. "Can I get you anything?" he asked calmly and quietly, but there was a note in his voice that Alicia didn't recognize.

"No, it's not necessary," she replied, taking her seat.

Will took a seat in the chair beside the couch. Not too close to her, but not across from her where it was easier for him to avoid her eye contact.

Alicia took a deep breath and dove in. "Look, Will, I want to apologize for what I said earlier in the elevator. I was way out of line and that was completely inappropriate. I was..."

Will cut her off, saying, "No, Alicia you were right. We misled you and you deserve more respect than that. I'm sorry that this moment that should have been a great moment in your life was tainted by that. If you decide not to accept our offer, I swear that I will do everything in my power to ensure that it won't affect the future of your career." He spoke while staring at his hands, pressed together in front of him and barely lifted his eyes to connect with hers.

"Thank you, Will," she said quietly. After a pause she added, "I'm still sorry for going off on you. It was completely inappropriate."

Will nodded and offered a slight smile in acceptance of her apology. Neither of them said anything for awhile. Will wasn't going to bring up the elephant in the room but he couldn't kick her out either. So he sat and soaked up the awkwardness.

Alicia was sure that he would ask her about it. It was why he'd retreated after being so determined to talk to her that he'd called her a million times and raced across town after her. Finally she couldn't stand the tension anymore. If he wasn't going to bring it up, then she'd have to tackle it.

"About..." she trailed off, nearly losing her courage. She closed her eyes for a second to gather herself, then sat up straighter, shook her hair back from her face and began again. "About what happened... back there...at the bus..."

Will waved his hand in the air and shook his head to stop her. "No, you don't need to..." He stood and turned his back to her.

"But I want to explain," she pleaded to his broad back.

He turned to walk around the chair where he'd just been sitting and braced his arms against the back of it. He turned his head to look at her as he spoke, "You have no need to explain anything to me, Alicia." His voice was soft, but she could hear the pain in his voice and she saw the heavyness of it in his eyes.

"But I want to," she answered as Will sunk his head between his arms. "I value your friendship and I don't want you to think..." she trailed off, not sure how she should finish that sentance. After a brief moment, she started again, "I want you to know the truth."

When he lifted his head, he nodded, looking to her as if to tell her to continue. "I'm not sure what's going on with Peter and I, but we're not...we're not together. We're still seperated," she stopped at the sight of him jerking his head toward her. When she met his eyes, the look he held her with was startling. It was skeptical, as if he were saying _Really, Alicia? Really?_

She continued, trying to overcome the uncertainty she was hearing in her own voice. "There are things we have to do for the campaign," she stopped again, hearing his reaction.

He closed his eyes at her words, snorting softly as he said, "Campaign, huh?" His voice was quiet, defeated, disbelieving. He saw her perplexed expression, and decided to explain himself. "I heard you, Alicia," he said with the same quiet tone. "Unless it was Eli you were having sex with on the bus?" They both knew he was joking about Eli, though there was not a hint of humor in his voice.

His eyes caught her. Her own eyes widening as she understood what he was saying. She couldn't look at him any longer and dropped her eyes to her lap. "Well, that's embarassing," she murmured, not knowing what else to say. She knew she was blushing, and even with her face pointing down, Will noticed the crimson creeping up her cheeks.

Despite his state of mind, Will couldn't resist the sight of her embarassed. He knew he needed to lighten the moment a bit, to ease her discomfort. "Nothing I haven't heard before," he said with a shrug and a small smile. He saw the corners of her mouth turn up at his comment but she didn't look up.

After a few moments, she just had to ask the question that was buring in her mind. "Was it very loud?" she asked, looking up at him as she finished her question.

He shook his head, saying, "No. I was walking around the parking lot while I waited for you, and when I got closer to the bus I could hear. There wasn't anyone else around." He knew what she was afraid of and did his best to put those fears to rest.

They let the silence hang between them for a few heartbeats longer before Alicia spoke. "I'm sorry Will. I'm sorry. I don't know what is happening." Her voice broke with tears that she couldn't explain. She took a moment to wipe them away, drawing in deep breaths to try and get herself under control. "We aren't together, that was true. I don't know what we are."

Will moved around the chair to sit down again. He was arguing with himself about what to say to her. Part of him wanted to keep quiet. Part of him wanted to comfort her. Part of him wanted to ask what he'd wanted to know since she'd ended their relationship. She didn't speak and he continued battling internally with himself until finally one side won out.

"Are you in love with him?" Will asked, his voice just above a whisper.

She didn't look up. She continued staring at her hands in silence. What should she tell him? Should she say no to spare his feelings? Should she say yes to make him get over her? Their theme tonight was truth. That's what she'd wished she'd had from him in Diane's office. That's what she came here to tell him. The truth.

"I dont know," she confessed, the words tumbling out of her mouth. When she heard them, she suddenly felt very empty inside. All of the emotion she'd been denying herself from feeling for so long threatened to come pouring out of her. She took in a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself as a few tears slipped down her cheeks. She wiped them away, shaking her head to shake off the emotions that bubbled just beneath the surface.

Will didn't miss the effect her response had on her. He walked around the chair and seated himself in silence. He waited for her to be ready to continue.

"I shouldn't be here," she said, quickly getting to her feet. "I need to go."

Will drew in a breath, waited one heartbeat and asked, "Why?"

"Because I shouldn't be bringing you into my marital issues," she said, her voice calm and controlled but her eyes averted from his.

She was walking past him when he reached up and grabbed her forearm. She stopped, gasping in surprise at his gesture. "You seem like you need a friend, Alicia," he said with all traces of pain absent from his voice.

Her head fell to the side with his words and she replied, "Yes, but..."

He cut her off, saying, "Alicia, please sit back down." He gestured to the couch she had just vacated. "I want to tell you something, as a friend."

She cautiously regained her seat, only sitting on the edge as if she was preparing to bolt at any moment. Hands folded in her lap, she looked to him, ready to listen.

He took a deep breath and plunged in. "When I see you at work, you're always composed, always confident. You always have the answers, you're always positive, but I can see that's not really how you feel inside. You put up a front. Alicia, I know that you're not happy. I can see it in your eyes. And I want more than anything for you to be happy. I-I know that you've been through a lot, but I hope that you can find a way to make yourself happy."

He paused to look up at her, checking her expression. She was still watching him through guarded eyes so he continued, "Alicia, I know that you're scared. You have every right to be. But until you decide to let someone in again, I'm afraid that you're just going to be caught in this limbo. And because you're my friend, I don't want to see you go through that."

Alicia said nothing, but stared at him, confused. She was trying to figure out how he could know all of this about her when she didn't exactly have it all put together herself. He mistook her expression for denial and sighed as he collected his evidence. "You don't let anyone in, Alicia. You're friendly, you smile, you make small talk, you discuss the business at hand, but you don't really let anyone in. Not the others at the firm, not Kalinda, not Peter." Will paused a second before he finished, "Not me." He glanced at her, remembering all of the times she brushed him aside when he attempted to take their relationship to another level.

"You know, probably better than I do, what it takes to be in a relationship with another person. And I know that you're scared to be dependent on someone like that again, but someday you're going to have to do it. And maybe you'll never feel ready for it, but the day is going to come, Alicia, and I just don't want you to sit back and have life pass you by."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Will's words aborbing into the air. Alicia was staring at her shoes, using one hand to worry at the fingers on her other hand. Will calmly sat and waited for the moment to resolve itself.

Finally, Alicia looked up to him. "I don't know where that came from, Will, but you've got a point. I'm still just trying to figure out how to put my life back together."

"Alicia," he spoke softly," it's been four years. It's not like it just happened yesterday. At some point, you're going to have to move forward." His voice was gentle, but the threat of him closing in on her caused her to drop her eyes.

She spoke, looking at her hands instead of him, "Will, there are things that you don't know. Things that factor into this." Will didn't know about Kalinda. She'd never told him. She'd never told anyone. Will didn't know that just as she had truly taken Peter back as her husband, his connection with Kalinda had come to light. Will didn't know that as hard as it was to pick yourself back up the first time, the second time is monumentally harder.

"Ok," Will said, expecting her to share a bit of detail. When she didn't, he just said, "Ok, point taken." She still didn't respond. She just sat staring at her hands. "You know I'm always here if you want to talk. I'm here for you no matter what, Alicia."

She nodded and moved to stand. Will followed her, placing his hand on the door handle to open the door for her. He stopped in place, looking down at Alicia. He was pulled in by her radiance, physically leaning in closer to her as the words slipped out of his mouth, "God, you are beautiful after sex. Afterglow suits you." He found his hand raising to her face, his fingertips just barely touching her cheek.

Alicia cracked the tiniest of smiles, a bit embarrassed and a bit flattered by his compliment. "Will," she said, a hint of warning in her tone, and he snapped back to the world they lived in.

"I know, I know," he said as he swung the door open for her. He was her friend again, nothing more. He moved his hand to her shoulder as he said, "Good night, Alicia."


	4. Chapter 4

_This one is a bit less fun. . . enter angst. . . _

_Oh, and I'm operating under the assumption that Alicia believed what Will told her about the second voice message. I know there are other versions of her reaction to that floating around out there, but for the sake of this story, Alicia believed Will, and convinced herself that she must have misunderstood on the wire tap. Take it, leave it, but enjoy the story regardless._

_And I've said it before, and I'll say it again, these aren't my characters. If they were, I wouldn't be here. I'd be out there making this happen._

Diane sat at her desk with yet another stack of paperwork before her. With a firm in bankruptcy and a partner that disliked handling details, there was much bureaucratic nonsense to fall into her lap these days. She looked up as she saw a flash of red through the glass wall of her office. Alicia was walking past, her sharp suit commanding attention.

Diane set her pen on the desk as she contemplated the younger woman. She wasn't sure why, but she couldn't figure Alicia out. Maybe she had gotten too used to the predictable behaviors of men after all these years of working in a male-dominated field. Maybe it was simply because Alicia revealed so little of herself, a consequence of being a political wife.

Just the week before, at their celebration of success in bankruptcy court, Diane had been impressed by Alicia's performance for the equity partners. At first she had looked on with pride as Alicia humbled herself for the sake of her career. Then she realized how good Alicia was at this kind of thing. It actually began to worry her. She knew that Alicia didn't feel truly grateful for the opportunity. She felt used. And yet, there was not the slightest hint of insincerity as she spoke with each partner individually. For a moment, Diane even doubted her own assumptions about Alicia's true feelings. Alicia was good at this kind of thing. Of course she was. She'd had years of practice. It had been her political savvy that had won election after election for Peter. Diane had begun to worry about the power Alicia would hold now as an equity partner. She was upset and she was good with politics. This firm had enough politics floating around the hallways. She was going to need to keep an eye on Alicia.

Since that night, Diane had realized that Alicia was not the politically calculating person she had momentarily appeared to be. Still powerful, still with influence but Alicia's conscience would stop her from being a great threat.

Watching Alicia walk away now, commanding attention with each step, she remembered following behind Alicia and Cary as they'd walked out of the courtroom together this morning. And the fact that she noticed Will check out Alicia's backside just after he'd declared "Game on" between the two teams. Yes, she was going to need to keep an eye on this.

***  
Alicia returned to her office from yet another meeting. It had been a crazy day and she still needed to prepare for court tomorrow, when she'd be going up against Will and Diane. Turning her thoughts to Will was a mistake. A week ago, the day after their insane criss-crossing of the city and their talk at his apartment, Will had come to her office to check in on her. Their conversation replayed now in her mind.

"How ya doing?" he had asked with a smile as he leaned in on her office door.

"I'm fine," she replied with a smile of her own. She was still digesting what he'd said the night before.

"You're sure?" he questioned, stepping into her office for more privacy. Luckily, Cary wasn't at his desk at the time.

She just nodded, her eyes telling him more about her well being than her words. She just hadn't known what to say to him.

"Ok," he had said, drawing the word out as he seated himself. "You know I'm always here if you want to talk."

Again, she had nodded her reply, following up with a short, "Thank you."

Will had hesitated, not sure how to say what he wanted to say. "Alicia, I want to talk again. Not right now, let's give it some time, but I do want to talk a bit more. Would that be alright?" His eyes had looked up to hers, fearful of her response.

"Yes, of course Will, it's fine," she had said quickly, a bit flustered by his request.

"Ok," he stated. He remained in the chair, as if he wanted to say more, then stopped himself and rose to leave. He had turned back to her before he reached the door, saying "Diane told me that you accepted the partnership this morning. Congratulations!"

"Thanks," she had said with a smile.

"Let me know if you need anything. Anything at all, ok?" his tone had been confident but his eyes revealed his own uncertainties about the rocky relationship between them.

"Ok," she had agreed, nodding and smiling and watching him walk away.

In the week since, Will's words kept echoing in her mind. Either she was more transparent than she thought or Will was exceptionally good at reading her, because he had told her things she didn't even know about herself. But he had been right. She was terrified to move on. Her desire to move on had driven her to Will and then back to Peter, but her heart kept stopping her from getting too close. Seeing what had happened to her when Peter's affairs first came out, and then what happened when she learned about Kalinda, Alicia couldn't imagine ever recovering from heartbreak and betrayal a third time. She just didn't have it in her. She wasn't sure what to do about that. It was what it was and she didn't see a way out of it. If she knew how to get past those feelings, wouldn't she have done it by now? If something could have saved her from that pain she felt when she learned about Peter and Kalinda, would she feel normal by now?

Alicia brought herself back to reality. She had a case to prepare and she needed to focus. She didn't have time let her mind run wild. She had to admit that she'd often been distracted by wondering what was on Will's mind and digesting their conversation in the past week, but now it was time to put those thoughts aside and get to work.

She buried her nose in the notes and reports in front of her. She felt that she was making headway on the case and putting together a good strategy to follow in court. She consulted with Cary, her co-counsel, before he headed home for the night. Her kids were with Peter and she felt like she was on a roll, so she decided to skip dinner and remain at work awhile longer.

It only seemed like a few minutes later that she heard Will rapping on her door frame as he asked to enter. A glance at the clock tells her its been a few hours and a glance out of her office tells her that most everyone else in the office has probably gone home.

"Sure," she replies to Will's request to enter. He finds a seat and takes a deep breath.

"How are you doing?" he asked, his eyes telling her that he is looking for more than an automatic response.

She sighed, allowing her shoulders to sag just a little. "I'm hanging in there," she said.

"And after we talked the other night, you're ok?" he raised his eyebrows in concern for her.

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it alot. It's just a long process, you know?" her tone revealed how weary she felt at the end of this long day.

Will missed this cue from her as he continued on with what he'd wanted to talk about. He sat back in the seat as he began. "Alicia, I need to tell you that I lied to you. That day that you came to my office and asked about a voice mail. I told you that the message I left for you said that you made the right decision, but that was a lie. That's not what I said at all."

Will could tell from her expression that she was surprised, but she said nothing, and so he marched on. "The second message I left you said that I love you. That I've loved you ever since Georgetown." Alicia couldn't contain her gasp, and Will paused just a second before he continued. "I asked you to call me and we'd make a plan. And I said that if you didn't want to call me back we'd drop it. When I didn't hear from you, I assumed that you wanted to drop it and that's why I never mentioned it again."

He checked Alicia's face to be sure she was still with him. She was obviously shocked and was still processing what he'd just revealed. He wanted her to hear the rest of what he had to say and so he started again. "I didn't want to pressure you, Alicia, and I don't want to pressure you now either. But after our conversation the other night, I wanted to make myself clear. I know that you have a lot of things to figure out, but I want you to know that I'm here for you as more than a friend if that seems right to you. And if not, I'll always be your friend." His tone was gentle, calm, much more calm than he was feeling inside. And with each passing second that she didn't speak or affirm his feelings made him more and more uneasy.

Alicia opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again. She swallowed, turning her eyes away from him as she collected her words together. Tears stung her eyes, but she blinked them back. There was no way she was going to let herself cry now.

She sat up a bit straighter as she began, "I just can't believe this. That you would lie to me." Her eyes widened, emphasizing her point. "That you lied to me every day of the last 3 years. That you lied to me every time that we were together last year." She furrowed her brows, hardening her expression as she hardened her heart against him. "That you lied to me about that phone call when you said 'I love you'. Why? Why would you do that?" her voice had lowered, almost to a whisper as she spoke.

Will's eyes searched the space behind her for an answer, the best answer, the one that would turn this conversation around. When no magical answer appeared behind her head, he filled in with his own words. "I didn't want to complicate your life, Alicia." his words came out as a sigh.

Anger flared in her eyes as she said to him, "But it's my life. You don't get to make decisions about my life, Will. I am so sick of having to live with the decisions that every one else makes for me. Do you know what would have happened if I heard your voice mail? I would have flocked to you. I would have left that stupid press conference without even a second glance at Peter. If you would have just made certain that I heard your words, do you know how different everything would be today?"

She stopped to swallow, and Will tried to speak up as she paused. "Well now we have the chance to make that happen," he said, a bit intimidated by her angry tone.

"No," she said bitterly. "No, we don't. Things have changed since then, Will. Things are different. I'm different. If you had told me at the time, or at least not _lied_ about it when I asked you in your office, then there would have been a chance. But I'm not the same person anymore, Will."

Will was speechless. He sat, staring down at his hands, trying to figure out what to say to bring her around. "What's happened, Alicia? What's changed? I don't understand," he stated quietly.

She hesitated a moment before answering. Was she really going to say this? Yes, she was. "I found out Peter slept with someone else. Someone I knew. Someone close to me. That's when I kicked him out." She looked away from him, the tears swelling in her eyes and in her angry voice as she continued. "You know, you were right the other night. I'm screwed up. I'm really screwed up. Probably forever, but if you had been man enough to tell me how you felt, if we had been together, I wouldn't have had to go through that a second time. The first time was hard enough, but the second time has been hell."

Will felt his temper rising as he stood to his feet, towering over her when he spoke, "And you went back to him after that? Can't you see that he is the one that hurt you, not me?"

Alicia rose to his level to answer, her anger increasing with each word, "It's complicated, Will. There's more to it than that. And no, I haven't gone back to him."

"Oh, that's right," Will answered sarcastically, "You're just using him for sex. That's what you do."

"Well I have such worthy men at my fingertips," she answered in equal sarcasm, spreading her hands out before her to illustrate. "One who sleeps around and another who lies to me. Very trustworthy options, if you ask me." She paused, a thought blossoming in her mind, and she spoke before the thought was even fully formed. "And if you were really in love with me, how do you just ignore that and not talk about it for years? Even when we were together, you never said anything. I've been in love, Will" she cut her eyes to him accusingly, "It's not something you ignore."

"I wasn't ignoring it, Alicia, I felt rejected. I was repressing it," he spat his words out at her in defense of himself.

"Oh, yes, and if you'd just told me in person, there would have been no room for misunderstanding. But no, I'm not good enough to hear it from you face to face."

"How could I know how you'd respond?" his voice had now risen to shouting as they both ignored the fact that there could be someone in a nearby office to overhear them. "All I ever got from you was mixed signals. I kissed you, you kissed me, you ran away, you came back, you didn't want to pursue it, you wanted to go to dinner with me. Of course, this is all my fault!"

"Well, as long as we've cleared that up," Alicia said huffily, as she threw her bag over her shoulder and stormed out of her office. She marched to the elevators, Will traipsing along behind her.

"So that's it then? That's all you have to say?" he said out in the open hallway.

"What else is there to say," she sighed, finally calming down. "There is no us. There never will be. It's too late." The elevator arrived as she spoke and she stepped in without another word.

Will didn't watch as she left. He just turned around in the dark hallway, lacing his fingers behind his head and whispered to himself, "Can it really be too late?"


	5. Chapter 5

_Fresh off the presses, folks! This update was hard to write so it took awhile. I'm striving to get at least one more chapter up before Sunday's episode, so please check back._

_Oh, and start thinking good thoughts about the next chapter, because I am thinking evil ones :-)_

_I don't own these guys. They own me._

The next day, Alicia avoided Will at all costs. He didn't appear to want to see her either. They only had to be together in court for a short time, since Cary and Alicia were granted a continuance to contact a witness.

This witness proved to be very valuable to their case. She told them things that completely undermined Will and Diane's case. Cary was reluctant to use it in court, but Alicia convinced him that their job here was not to go easy on the name partners. This was an exercise to prepare for the real case. Their opponents in the actual case would find this and use it, so they needed to do that as well.

The consequence of their continuance was that Will and Diane were back at work that afternoon, without much work to do for their case. A staff meeting was organized and Alicia attended dutifully. She really needed to get her act together for court the next day, and stood to leave quickly as the meeting wrapped up.

"Alicia," Diane called to her from across the conference room, beckoning to her with a slight gesture.

Alicia approached Diane, who was standing beside Will. Will was engaged in a conversation with another associate, but it was obvious that he noticed her proximity. "Alicia, I hate to do this, but do you have the capital contribution? " Diane asked quietly. "We really need to have it today."

Internally, Alicia was fuming. Smoke would have been coming out of her ears if she had been allowed to react as she pleased. Instead, she forced on a pleasant smile and said demurely to Diane, "I'll do what I can to get it today." She eyed Will for just a split second before retreating to her office.

She tried to focus on the case, but she was constantly fielding interruptions on her cell as she and Peter texted back and forth. Yes, he could get the money to her today. Yes, she could come to pick it up after his campaign event. He would text her when he was ready. She turned back to the paperwork in front of her yet again, burying her nose in its contents.

When her phone chirped an hour later, she jumped up, grabbing her coat and bag to go pick up the check from Peter. The campaign bus was swamped when she arrived, a sea of campaign workers and laptops and pamphlets had overtaken the entire area. Peter was too busy for any more than a quick word.

"Who am I making this out to?" he asked, balancing a checkbook and a pen while chaos ensued around him.

Alicia glanced at her gold watch. She had hoped to make it to her bank to deposit the money into her own account and have the bank issue her a check to Lockhart/Gardner. She wasn't going to make it. She'd have to take Peter's check to Diane. "Lockhart/Gardner," she said finally.

Peter nodded and carried on, handing the check to her a moment later. "Thank you, Peter," she said softly as she took the check from his hand. She stepped closer, balancing on her toes as she reached up to place a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you," she repeated as she met his eyes.

"Alicia," he started, before looking around to the crowd swarming around them. His eyes told her it was nothing. He couldn't say anymore now, and she knew that.

She told him that she understood with a nod of her head before she turned and left.

Once she stepped back out onto the 28th floor, she went straight to Diane's office. Still wearing her coat and with her bag still slung over one shoulder, she faced the glass doors to Diane's office. Will was sitting before Diane's desk. Alicia wanted to slink away unnoticed, but Diane motioned that she should enter. She walked in quietly, pulling the check from her bag and placing it on Diane's desk. "Here you are," she said calmly, keeping her eyes from betraying any emotion she felt inside.

Will caught a glimpse of the slip of paper wavering on Diane's desk. After a brief moment, he realized that the check did not bear Alicia's slanted left-handed penmanship as he would expect. The handwriting was bold, masculine. He glanced back to confirm his suspicions, noticing the definitive P at the beginning of the signature line. Peter. Peter had written the check. She was using Peter's money to buy into the firm.

Her words flashed into his mind. _"Do you know what will happen to my family if I lose that money to the firm, if the firm goes down?" _He hadn't known. He still didn't know, but the thought of her owing anything to Peter made him nauseous. This is what he had driven her to. He had driven her to go begging to Peter and who knew what the terms of their deal were.

He couldn't stop himself from looking up to her, but she had gone. She was closing the door to Diane's office behind her now and he had missed his chance to meet her eyes.

***  
The following morning, she carefully dressed herself in a tight black suit, the one that zipped up to just barely cover her cleavage. Knowing she looked good gave her confidence, the confidence she would need to take on this day.

She was going to drop the bomb on Will and Diane's case in court today. She put on her best poker face and went to work.

Her heels clicked against the tile floors of the courthouse as she headed for their courtroom. She was the first to arrive, and she wished that she and Cary had traveled together. Setting her bag down, she began to unload her stacks of papers and arrange them on the desk. She sat, trying to appear as calm as possible, trying to forget how uneasy she felt inside. She heard someone entering the courtroom and turned to see who had arrived. She saw Will at the same time he saw her. She turned her eyes back to the open notes before her, unable to focus, but avoiding him all the same.

Will continued to his seat, unpacking a similar stack of papers and seating himself across the aisle from Alicia. The silence in the courtroom was deafening. To Alicia, it seemed like an eternity before Cary entered, relieving the tension that threatened to suffocate her.

Slowly, the others entered the courtroom, preparing for the case. The judge called the court to order, Alicia took a deep breath and dug in. She asked that her witness take the stand. Before she approached the woman she had called as her witness, she picked her pen up from the defense table. Holding something in her hand should make her calmer, if only she could remember not to fidget with it and reveal her nervousness.

Alicia began to question the witness. Name. Occupation. Relationship to Thief Corporation.

"And you wrote a report on the contents of Thief's energy drink, is that right?" Alicia asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"And what did you find in your report?" Alicia asked.

"I found a toxin capable of causing death at high levels."

Alicia paused, turning her gaze to Will and Diane.

Diane leaned over to Will and whispered, "What is she doing?"

Will shook his head, almost imperceptibly. He had no idea what she was doing.

Alicia walked back to the defense table, taking the report from Cary's hand. Cary looked away from Will and Diane, unable to face the fact that they were doing this. "Your honor, I have these findings in the report here." She began to approach the bench, handing the report to the judge.

Will stood, "Your honor, we object to this report being admitted into evidence. Our client had tests run on its product that show conflicting results. You have those reports before you and no one else ever found this mysterious toxin."

The judge sighed, taking a minute to consider. "Attorneys approach the bench," he stated.

Will and Diane rose, stepping up to meet the judge. Cary joined Alicia and they stood alongside their former supervisors.

"Your honor," Will began with a hushed tone, "We question the legitimacy of these findings. One report finds one thing, another report finds something else. It's all very Othello-istic, but I find it to be highly suspect."

"This report explains the death of the victim," Alicia stated coldly. "Your report does not." She flashed a look to Will matching the coldness in her tone.

There was a pause as her words sunk in. Cary kept his eyes on the judge, unable to meet the eyes of Alicia or Will and Diane. The judge felt the awkward tension here. He knew this was a mock trial. He knew that the two sides should be working towards the greater good. Was that what this was?

Will's eyes narrowed as he examined Alicia, trying to get inside her head to find out what would turn this around.

The judge sighed, ready to rule on Will's objection. He dismissed them back to their respective seats and reported to the court, "Overruled." He turned to Alicia, saying, "You may continue."

Alicia turned back to her last minute witness. "You have seen the autopsy report as well, is that correct?"

"Yes," she answered confidently.

"And was there anything unusual in the results?"

"Yes, the victim had higher levels of this toxin than expected."

Alicia couldn't stop herself from sending a smug glare in Will's direction before she said, "Thank you," and returned to her seat.

Will and Diane requested a recess before their turn to question the witness. With some time on their hands, Alicia and Cary discussed their strategy. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Will glaring at her. It was going to be a long day.

***  
Will slammed the door to his office, ready for this day to be over. He poured himself a drink and sat down in his favorite chair to wallow a little before heading home. After court, Alicia had disappeared. Even Cary didn't know where she'd gone. He and Diane had talked to Cary a bit, but Will knew that Alicia had been behind what had happened in court today.

Back at the firm, Will and Diane had buried themselves in the case in Diane's office, trying to dig out of this hole they found themselves in, until Diane had to make it to her dinner plans. She'd offered to cancel, but they both knew that they really couldn't do anymore. They were prepared for tomorrow. After that, it was in the hands of the jury.

Will stood to refill his glass. He couldn't figure out what had gotten into Alicia. The liquid splashed against the sides of his glass as he turned to walk back to his seat. In a split second, he turned back and grabbed to bottle to bring with him. It had been a long day. Might as well make it a long night as well.

***  
Late that night, Alicia found herself returning to her office. It had been a long day indeed. They had done well in court today, but with every small victory she felt a bit of doubt about whether she should have ever opened this can of worms.

When court had adjourned for the day, Alicia found a voice mail from Grace on her phone. Grace was clearly upset, so she didn't even return to the office. She went home to talk to Grace, who was upset about something that had happened with Connor. After talking with Grace and learning that it was just normal teenage relationship drama, and not as bad as she had feared, Alicia felt relieved. She comforted Grace and made Grace's favorite dinner, but she knew she still needed to prepare for court tomorrow. She finally made it back to the firm to pick up some paperwork.

She was sorting through the files on her desk, deciding which ones she'd need to take with her, when Will's shouting surprised her.

"You got a problem, you bring it to me. You don't take it to court," Will shouted, storming into her office and slamming the door behind him. He stepped close to her, closer than he had been in months, and she could smell the alcohol on his breath. His posture, his tone, his words all set off alarms in her head that he had become a threat.

She squared her shoulders and stretched up to meet his height. She wasn't going to let him intimidate her. He wasn't her boss anymore. Calmly, letting him know he couldn't rattle her, she said, "Will, I'm representing the case, that's all."

"Bullshit!" he yelled, leaning another centimeter closer to her face. "This is about what happened the other night."

"No, I told you the other night that what happened between us is in the past. You're just pissed because I showed you up in court today," she said, still a bit smug. Her voice was rising with the anger she was feeling. Her desire to remain calm was slowly slipping away.

"If we lose, if we lose this case tomorrow, then Thief Corporation takes it to another firm", Will continued, yelling pointedly at her. "They don't want us unless we can win it for them. That's what this is about. We were supposed to win the case and get their business."

"You told me to give it my all, Will," she said, raising her volume even more. "You should be more clear. Communication isn't a strong suit for you."

"Oh, I wasn't clear. Let me clarify. When I told you to give it your all, I didn't mean to screw the firm over. It's a fucking MOCK TRIAL ALICIA!" As he screamed his last words, he brought his face even closer to hers, causing her to draw back slightly.

For a moment, she was afraid of him. He had never confronted her in anger before, but he was scaring her now, displaying the power he held over her. These strong emotions stirred up deeper feelings within Alicia as she stared into his eyes, so dark and intense with his anger. As she studied his eyes, she saw his pain. Pain at losing her to Peter, to his own fear and indecision. The odd mixture of his power and vulnerability was too much for her.

It was as if she wasn't in her own body as she leaned forward, closing the distance between them. She grabbed his cheeks and brought her lips to his. Will was caught off guard, but he was soon responding, their lips crashing together. He felt good, just like he always had. His smell, his taste, the feeling of his lips were all catching up to her, swirling in her head, a mixture of old and new sensations running together. She threw her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his, desperate for more of him. Will pressed one hand hand to the place where her spine joined her hips and the other behind her neck, pulling her to him roughly. The kiss was full of everything they had been missing for the past year, each starved for the other's body.

Her body began to ache for him and she pressed her hips back and forth against his growing erection. Suddenly she froze. She didn't move, she couldn't move. What was she doing? She stepped back, her hands flying up in the air as if she were denying any involvement in their encounter. Without speaking she flew from the room, not even daring to glance back at him.

Out in the hallway, her voice returned to her. "What are you thinking? You don't do that!" she said to herself, staring down at the floor as her arms spread wide in question of her actions. She didn't know if the hallway was empty. She didn't know if he would follow her. This was all far from her mind as she reveled in the shock of the moment.

She shook her head as she continued to upbraid herself. "What's wrong with you?" she asked in amazement, still continuing to gaze at the floor. She arrived at the elevator, pounding on the button as if it would make the elevator arrive faster than usual. "Oh my God!" she said under her breath.

She braced her arms against the elevator's opening as she waited, her head hanging with defeat. As desperate as she had been for him only moments ago, she was at least twice as desperate to escape him now. Here she was, rebuilding things with Peter, and she had to go and do something like this? What _was_ wrong with her these days? Attacking Peter in various semi-public situations, grabbing Will in the middle of a fight. This wasn't her. Who was she becoming?

The elevator doors opened and she stormed inside, punching the button that would lead to her escape and retreating to the back wall of the elevator car. "Oh, idiot!" she exclaimed to herself, raising her hand to hit her forehead, as if it could clear her memory of this night.


	6. Chapter 6

_This is all I have for now. We'll see what inspiration finds me after I get to see the episode. May end it here or may continue to update. Enjoy and thanks for all of your reviews!_

_There's a little naughty and a little nice. Ok, I don't know if it's nice. It's angsty. You tell me if that's nice._

_I don't own them. Any of them. They're not mine, I didn't create them, but I do like to play with them now and then. I'll put them back when I'm done :-)_

Exiting the building, Alicia wasn't sure where she was going. She sure as hell wasn't going back to her office. Her car was in the parking lot, but her keys were up in her office. The kids were probably asleep at home, so even if she did get home she wouldn't be able to get in without her keys.

She sighed, berating herself once again for her stupidity. She just started walking, thinking about the cell phone she had buried in her pocket. Maybe she could go back to get her keys later, hoping that Will would be gone by then. She just needed to give it some time. What would she do in the meantime? It was late and she shouldn't be wandering around on the streets. She could go to a bar, except that she had left her wallet in her bag upstairs. Maybe she should just go get it. It wouldn't be that bad, would it?

No, it could be pretty bad. The last week had been pretty bad. This was her third fight with Will in 8 days.

She pulled the cell phone out of her pocket. Absently, she read her emails as she walked, seeing one from Peter. Yes, he was at the Chicago Cultural Center tonight, speaking at an event. She checked the time and decided to at least start walking in that direction. It wasn't very far from here. She could still talk herself out of it on the way.

She folded her arms across her chest, trying to block out the cold February air, cursing herself again for her rash behavior. If she had her head on straight, she wouldn't even be wandering the Chicago streets in the cold without a coat tonight.

She tried not to let her fatigue get to her as she walked. She was tired. She should be at home, prepping for tomorrow and winding down for the night. But something else was nagging at her. As appalled as she was at her own behavior, she still felt those twinges of desire stirring within her. She was reminded of the last time she had kissed Will and run out of the office suddenly. And what she'd done when she returned home that night.

At least back then when she'd done that, she'd gone for so many months without sexual attention. That wasn't the case now. That certainly wasn't the case. She had no excuses. No explanations. She pushed it all from her mind, focusing on each step she took to get herself indoors.

When she entered the building, it sounded as if the event was winding down. She just heard a sea of voices, and as she found her way to the correct room, she watched as people filtered out of the doors. She turned and walked back the way she'd come from. Away from the crowd of people, she ducked into a ladies restroom and texted Peter her location.

***  
She was throughly exhausted as she rode up the elevator to her apartment. The weight of the day was pressing down on her shoulders. She had nearly defeated Will and Diane in court. She'd comforted her young daughter. She'd had a full blown, screaming fight with Will, then kissed him passionately and then abandoned him. She'd wandered the streets to find her husband and get sexed up in a public restroom. And now she was finally able to call it a night after having retrieved her things from her office.

She'd had a surge of energy as she left Peter's event, walking back to Lockhart/Gardner's building in the cold. The hormones raging through her bloodstream had energized her and kept her warm despite her lack of outerwear. They hadn't lasted very long though.

The floor had been quiet and empty when she arrived on the 28th floor. She slipped into her office, picked up her things and slipped out, turning off the light behind her. If Will was still lurking around, she didn't want to run into him now. She'd have to see him tomorrow and she'd deal with that then. Right now, she was just exhausted.

The relief that flooded her as the elevator arrived at the 9th floor was short lived. As the doors opened and she stepped out into her hallway, she found Will leaning against a wall, staring at a houseplant.

No. No. This wasn't happening. Not at home. Not now. She didn't have the energy for this anymore.

Her expression made it clear to Will that she was not thrilled to see him. She didn't speak, but glared at him as she stopped in her tracks and then stepped backwards as if it could make him disappear.

"Alicia, I just want to say I'm sorry," he stated softly, slowly stepping toward her and trying not to scare her off.

"No," she said quietly, putting her hand out between them, mentally trying to keep him away from her.

Will continued anyway. He wanted her to know. "Alicia, I shouldn't have yelled at you. I was way, way out of line. I am so sorry for that."

She let her bag fall to the floor in defeat, nodding her head as she stared at the floor tiles. She didn't know what to say. What could she say?

"Alicia, please," but Will stopped when Alicia looked up at him. Something was off. He studied her face as she stood silently expecting him to continue. He couldn't quite put his finger on what was different about her. And then he did.

It was Will's turn to take a step back from her. "You went to see Peter," he said with extreme shock. There wasn't a hint of a question in his voice. He knew. He saw the evidence of it in her swollen lips, her blushing skin. He knew she'd slept with him.

Alicia hadn't spoken and Will moved to step past her. He intended to leave but the elevator doors had already closed. He pressed the button for the elevator before she grabbed his arm. He was too in shock to be angry. There was absolutely no temptation to raise his voice to her.

"Will," she said, her eyes misting up. She couldn't continue. She still didn't know what to say.

"What's happening to you, Alicia?" he asked breathlessly. "You aren't the person I've always known." The honesty in his voice resonated deep into her soul and something in his expression struck her. It was as if he were staring at a stranger, trying to size her up.

She couldn't contain her own confusion any longer. She had no idea what she was doing either. She didn't understand her own actions. Her eyes filled with tears and her breath caught in her throat. She had to get out of here. She was going to lose it and she couldn't do it here. Not with Will.

Clumsily she reached for her bag that she'd dropped to the floor. With her vision blurred by tears, it took her several attempts to actually grasp the handle in her hand. She blindly dug for her keys, panic rising in her chest that she wouldn't make it inside in time. She was slowly stepping toward the door as she groped to the bottom of her bag, her back turned to Will.

Will was facing the elevator doors, willing them to open. He saw Alicia out of the corner of his eyes and heard her struggle to locate her keys. When he saw her standing still in front of her door, no longer looking for her keys but frozen in place, he turned to see what she was doing. She wasn't doing anything. Wait, she was shaking. Shaking?

Will's heart jumped in his chest. No matter how betrayed he felt, he loved this woman. He had loved her for 20 years and he couldn't bear to see her hurting. He stepped toward her gingerly, confirming that she was crying very softly. He could tell that she was trying without success to hold her emotions in, even as they were bubbling over. He gently laid a hand on her shoulder as he spoke her name.

"Alicia."

Her shoulders began to shake more violently. She didn't turn around. She didn't move the hand that she'd brought to her mouth to contain her emotions. But her composure was slipping out of her hands.

Will moved to bring her into his arms and she didn't fight him. She didn't have any fight left. She felt like as light as a feather in his arms. This was the second time he'd had her in his arms tonight, though the circumstances couldn't be more different. Her arms slipped underneath his and up around his back to grasp his shoulders. She buried her face in his shoulder as she said through her sobs, "I don't know. I just don't know what is happening."

Will stroked his hand lightly up and down her back. "Ok," he breathed in to her hair. "Ok, ok. We'll figure it out." And they stood like that in front of her door for a long time.


	7. Chapter 7

_Whoa! One kiss and all the A/W writers come out of the closet! Not that I'm complaining..._

_Ok, so here is what I have, not sure what will come next after this, but here's what I have so far._

_It's AU now, not a strong suit for me, but I'll do my best. Hope you enjoy!_

_Ummmm, if I were involved in this whole thing, there would have been no lame excuses about a weak moment. Obviously, no one consulted me!_

Finally, Alicia relaxed in Will's arms and pressed back from him. She turned around, wiping her tears from her face. Will stood patiently and waited for her to collect herself.

"Goodnight, Will," she said coldly, picking up her bag from the floor once again. With better luck this time, she located her keys and brought them out of her bag as Will gripped her wrist. She looked at him in shock.

"Wait a minute. Is that it?" he asked quietly. His voice was painful to her, worse than if he'd yelled at her again. "You're just going to shut down and run away?"

Alicia sighed as she said, "Will, what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to face all of this pain in your life. I want you to get through it so you can move on and be happy on the other side of it. It kills me to see you so unhappy, Alicia." His hand brushed her cheek as he spoke, but he dropped it away quickly. Fresh tears welled up in her eyes when she heard his words.

"Will, I-I can't. It's just-it's complicated," she said, stumbling over the words as she tried not to let her tears overcome her once again.

"Tell me," he pleaded, taking her hand.

She shook her head, gently pulling her hand back. Will sighed, defeated, as he said, "Well, you have to talk to somebody. A therapist or something. Someone you can trust."

"There's no one I can trust," she said bitterly, her tears coming through in her voice. Though she wanted nothing more than to avoid his eye contact, she couldn't stop herself from glancing at him when he looked at her in surprise. "My life's too public," she explained, shaking her head as the words tumbled out.

Will just nodded in silence for a moment. Alicia considered the truth of those words. Everyone she had confided in had betrayed her. Peter. Kalinda. Maddie. Even Owen hadn't been able to keep his mouth shut to their mother. No, she was alone and there was no one she could trust to spill her heart to. For a split second, she thought that if she really intended to rebuild things with Peter, she should be able to confide in him. But she didn't feel like she could tell him anything. She still didn't trust him. Opening herself up to him again would only make it that much more painful when he broke her heart again with some other young blonde. This revelation bothered Alicia. This was really how she felt about Peter?

Will took a step away from her, heading towards the elevator once again. With his foot still in mid-air, he turned back toward her. "Alicia, I want you to know that I would never do anything to hurt you. Anything that you told me would remain between us, I swear. It always has and it always will. So if you ever do want to talk, just let me know."

A million thoughts ran through Alicia's mind as Will turned away from her again. Could she trust Will? She didn't think that he would run off to the press with her deepest, darkest secrets, but would he use them to influence her? She wanted to make her own decisions. And yet, his offer was tempting. If anything, this evening had taught her that she definitely had some things to work out.

"Wait," she said, stopping him in his tracks. He turned back to face her, but she had trouble meeting his eyes. "Do you want to come in for a drink?" she asked weakly. "If the kids are asleep, I mean."

Will nodded as he said, "Sure," and Alicia moved to open the door quietly. They stepped inside and Alicia shut the door behind them silently. She motioned to Will to wait while she went to check on the kids.

A few silent minutes later, she returned, nodding as she whispered, "Yeah, they're asleep." She led them into the living room where Will found a chair facing the sofa. She fell down onto the sofa, still reeling with the events of today. After a minute, she said, "Oh, yeah, drinks," and moved to stand up.

Will stood instead, extending his hand toward her to stop her movement. "Let me," he said kindly. Alicia looked at him hesitantly and he said, "I can manage."

"All I have is wine," she warned, still uncertain about turning him loose in her kitchen.

"It's ok," he said, already in the doorway to the kitchen. "Tequila is probably bad for us anyway," he noted with a smile.

She settled back on the couch, not quite sure what she was thinking. Letting him come in, this late with her children asleep so close by? This was not a good idea. What was she going to accomplish? She couldn't really talk to him, could she?

He came back holding two wine glasses filled with white wine. She accepted one with a slight smile and a nod. "Thanks," she said after taking a sip. An awkward silence filled the room as Will waited for Alicia to be ready to begin. She wasn't, and she stalled for time. "My daughter is against the hard stuff," she said, indicating the wine glass in her hand. "She barely lets me drink any wine," she said with a smile.

"Really? Is she a recovering alcoholic?" Will said with a chuckle.

"No, she's exploring herself. She thinks she's a Christian," Alicia said, with a roll of her eyes.

"And clearly, you are not," Will said, referring to her recent interview.

"Right," Alicia said with a nod, lifting her glass to her lips once again to illustrate her point.

Will smiled as he said, "I bet it gets interesting around here then!"

"That it does," Alicia returned with a hint of sarcasm. Again, the pause consumed them and Alicia felt overwhelmed with the pressure to say something. Nothing came to her. Thoughts swarmed in her head but she couldn't grasp onto one that she was comfortable sharing. This was a terrible idea.

Clearly frustrated, she brought her feet up beside her on the sofa and rested her forehead on her hand, shielding her face from Will. "It's all just so exhausting," she finally said.

"Alicia, tell me what you need," Will pleaded softly. He wasn't sure if that was her way of telling him to go.

"I don't know what I need," she answered from behind her hand, her voice soft to match his and to avoid waking her children.

After a brief pause, Will said, "Ok, then what do you know?"

Alicia sighed, dropping her hand to her lap and staring off into space. "I know that I'm not happy like this. I know that my kids aren't happy like this. They want things to go back to normal, like they always remembered growing up. And I don't blame them for that. I felt the same way when my parents broke up." She paused to sip from her glass while she contemplated. She didn't look at Will. She couldn't, but he sat and listened anyway. "It's hard to have your parents divorce, you know? It means that nothing will ever be the same again, and that's scary when you're their age." She spoke defensively, as if she had to convince Will that she didn't need a divorce.

It wasn't only Will she was convincing. It was her brother, her mother, everyone who had ever given her a sideways glance after the scandal broke. It was herself. She had to convince herself.

"I-I-" her voice broke as her tears welled up again. "I can't do that to them. I can't break their hearts. Not like he did." She was crying now, and she couldn't pull the tears back in. She pulled her fist up to her chin, anything to create a barrier between her and Will. She didn't like to be vulnerable, and she hadn't been this vulnerable in front of anyone else in a long time. She bowed her head, allowing her hair to fall around her face like a curtain, protecting her even more from Will's gaze.

Will's heart broke for her. He stood, finding a box of tissues for her and approaching her at the couch. As an afterthought, he grabbed the blanket draped across the back of the chair and covered her with it before gently placing the tissue box in her lap. "Just let it out," he said softly, grazing his hand across her hair before taking his seat in the chair.

He wanted to curl up next to her and cry too, but that wouldn't do any good. This was a road she needed to walk alone. She needed to lose herself in that turmoil so that she could find her way out again. If he was there, holding her, calming her, her concern for him would outweigh her need to process this. So, painfully, he faded back into the corner and hoped she would forget he was here.

_How can I make this work? How can I make my marriage work? _she thought silently to herself. _I don't trust Peter. I can't trust Peter anymore. How can I be married to him? How can I just go on wondering what he is doing, when he's going to hurt me or my children again? Oh, how did I get here? How did I get here? _The questions just kept coming frantically, filling up her head until she was sobbing.

Will didn't know how he could take this. All he wanted was to scoop her up in his arms and take her away from all of this. But that wouldn't solve things, and he knew it. Peter would follow her forever. She was tied to him because of her children. Still, he didn't know how she did it. He could hardly stand to watch her go through this. He couldn't imagine what it must feel like to actually be the one going through it. He was on the edge of his seat and it was all he could do to contain his impulse to go to her.

After awhile, the sounds of her sobs faded away. She had lifted her chin just a bit and was trying to clean up her face with a handful of tissues. There was still a hitch in her breathing, evidence of her breakdown, but she was trying to calm down and collect herself. Finally she whispered, "I'm sorry," not even able to meet his eyes.

"No, no, no Alicia, you don't have anything to be sorry for," he said quietly, unable to tear his gaze from her. "I'm sorry that it has to be so difficult for you," he added.

She just nodded, continuing to dry her face. Just then, she heard a door open in the hallway between the kid's rooms. She was startled, staring at the doorway, just waiting for one of them to emerge. Grace rounded the corner seconds later, stumbling into the bright room with squinted eyes. It was obvious from her tangled hair and neon flannel pajama pants that she had been sleeping and had just woken up. Her eyes widened when she realized that her mother was sitting in the living room with a strange man at 1 am.

"Mom," she said, her voice thick from sleep, "what's going on?" She looked to Alicia, and when she realized that Alicia had been crying, she ran to sit beside her on the couch. "Is something wrong? Is it Zach?" she asked as she looked toward his room, but her view offered no hints. She turned back to her mother. "Is it Dad?" Grace's voice wavered as if she were on the verge of tears herself.

"No, sweetie, everyone is alright. Really, everything is just fine," she said, her voice calm and controlled. She laid a hand on her daughter's shoulder, stroking lightly to reassure her.

Will was amazed at the transformation in Alicia. With the appearance of Grace, she'd sat up straight and flipped her hair back from her face. The only remaining evidence of her breakdown was her face, now void of makeup and swollen from crying. No, her face told the story, but the broken woman who had sat before him just a minute ago was now gone.

"I was upset at work this evening, and Will just wanted to make sure that I was alright," she said carefully, glancing at Will in explanation to her daughter.

"But you're not alright, Mom. What's going on?" Grace argued.

Will felt like he should leave. He knew that he should leave. He just couldn't tear himself away from this scene. Alicia comforting her daughter in the middle of the night was endearing. He'd never seen this side of her before. Or course, he knew she loved her children more than anything. He'd seen the look on her face when she'd briefly mentioned them. He'd overheard a few phone conversations between them. But he'd never seen Alicia interacting with either of her children. Seeing her maternal side was sweet. It seemed right, it seemed natural, and yet he was so shocked by it that he couldn't move.

Alicia sighed, preparing an answer for her daughter. She stroked her hair as she said, "Grace, do you remember when I told you that adults have complicated emotions?"

"Yeah," she responded softly.

"Well, sometimes things come back to bite us. Things that we think are over. Sometimes they can still upset us. Like tonight," she motioned to herself with a smile for Grace's benefit.

Grace paused a moment before she asked, "But what was it? What upset you?"

Silently, Alicia cursed her daughter's tendency for bluntness. "Well, Grace, I don't want this to upset you, but I'm still very hurt by your dad. I'm still dealing with that. And you know that. That's why he's not here with us."

Grace nodded before she asked, "Are you going to get a divorce?"

Alicia drew her daughter into a hug, saying over her shoulder, "Nothing has been decided yet, sweetie. I don't know. A marriage is about more than where you live." Grace nodded into her mom's shoulder, and Alicia pulled back from the embrace. "Now what has you up so late?" her swift change of subject going unnoticed.

"I just woke up and I wanted something to drink. I'm going back to bed," she said, glancing at Will before she walked into the kitchen.

Alicia let out a huge sigh once Grace left the room, deflating completely back into the person Will had seen sitting before him before Grace had woken up. She leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her knees and running her hands through her hair. She brought her hands around her face to rest against her mouth as she contemplated what had just happened. She glanced up at Will, who was watching her with sadness and sympathy. They said nothing, sitting in silence until Grace passed through the room again on her way back to bed.

Alicia stood, wearing her motherly strength once again, as she said, "Let's get you back to bed."

"Mom, I'm not a baby. You don't need to tuck me in," Grace said, appalled that her mother would mention such a thing. She glanced at Will once again, embarrassed by her mom's assumption.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Alicia said, rolling her eyes and smiling, "It only _seems_ like yesterday that I was changing your diaper and rocking you back to sleep at this time of night."

"Gross, Mom! Don't talk about diapers!" Grace said in revulsion.

"Ok," Alicia answered, kissing Grace on the forehead before she said, "Good night."

"Good night," Grace returned. She turned to go back to her room, and then spun around to say, "Good night," to Will as well.

"Good night," he answered, his voice a bit rough from his long silence.

Grace disappeared and they heard her bedroom door close. Alicia folded her legs underneath her as she sat back down on the couch and pulled the blanket up over her lap. Slowly, Will relaxed back into his chair, letting Alicia take the lead. They sat in silence for a long while, as Alicia examined the thoughts floating through her mind. She took each one, turning it over slowly and studying it, coming to conclusions she had never seen before tonight.

Will sat, trying to give her the space she needed. He studied the room, seeing Alicia's touch in the decor. However, Alicia had created a very warm homey atmosphere, somewhat different from the Alicia he saw day in and day out at the firm. That Alicia was strong, controlled, smart, but not necessarily warm. She was elegant and eloquent, which lended to her reputation of being a bit icy. That was a different Alicia than the one that came home to her family each night.

He glanced around the room, trying to imagine the family gathering together here for Christmas, family dinners in the adjoining dining room. Sadly, he doubted he would ever be a part of them. Would he ever have a family of his own? It was something he had never known he wanted until it seemed too late.

Pictures of Alicia's family, smiling, happy memories, adorned the room. But he knew this family had more than just happy memories. There had been sadness and pain as well. He saw it in Alicia tonight. He heard it when Grace fearfully asked about her parent's plans for divorce. This was a part of family too. He could look at these happy pictures and idolize having a family of his own someday, but there would be pain that came with it too. Could he handle that? Could he handle the wide range of emotions that would come with loving others more than himself? Or would he be better off as a bachelor, cold, unfeeling, calculated in his marriage to his work?

Her chin resting on her fist, she finally spoke. "I'm a terrible mother," she said with defeat and a matter of fact tone. She wasn't seeking sympathy or denial. She was revealing the truth she had just learned.

"No," Will said firmly, sitting up to the edge of his seat once again. "No, Alicia," he repeated. "I saw you just now, and you are not a terrible mother. You love your kids and you would do anything for them."

Alicia shook her head. There was tension rising in her chest as she felt as if she would cry again but no tears came. "No, I've been terrible to them. All they want is our old life back, and I know that we can never have that and yet I've lead them to believe that it's a possibility. I've stayed married to their father, and they must think that someday we will move back in together and be a family again. In our old house even!"

Alicia paused to swallow before she continued. "And I wouldn't face it. I didn't want to face it. In a way, I wanted it because they wanted it. I wanted to be able to trust Peter again to appease them, but I can't. I know that I can't. I'll always be waiting for the next scandal to break, the next mysterious phone call to come unravel everything again. That's not a marriage. That's no way to live." Her voice trailed off at the end, her fingers toying with the edge of the blanket.

She flicked her eyes up to meet his, filled with pain, "Do you remember when I thought that a reporter might be writing a story about us last fall?"

Will nodded silently in reply.

"It wasn't about us. It was about Peter and a campaign worker. The story that got leaked to the internet. And I wasn't surprised. I was hurt, but I wasn't surprised. It turned out not to be true, and I convinced myself that it made everything ok again, but it doesn't." Dropping her hand to her lap, she sat up straighter, saying, "I'm going to have to get a divorce." Then she dropped her face to her hands again and whispered, "God, this is going to kill them!"

"Alicia, you'll explain it to them. You'll comfort them and you'll bring them through it, just as you've brought them through everything so far." Will's words were contemplative, soft and reassuring, but truthful. The deepest truth he knew.

Alicia nodded, staring at the floor and fading back into silence. Suddenly, without even realizing the ramifications of what she said, she blurted out, "Will you stay tonight?"

Will froze for just a second, completely surprised by her words. When he opened his mouth to answer, Alicia came back to her senses. "Oh God, I'm sorry. I have no right to. . . I'm just an idiot," she said, waving her hand out in front of her as if to erase the question. She sunk back onto the sofa, disappointed with her new low.

Will collected his thoughts, prepared to back them up as he spoke. "Alicia, you know that I'll give you whatever you need." She looked at him in shock. He cocked his head to the side as he said, "You know that," as if to impress upon her that she had always known it deep down. "Today, tomorrow, next month, next year, all you have to do is ask."

His words hung between them, thick in the air, repeating over and over in Alicia's ears as if the room had an echo. She didn't know what to say to that. It was something really big but she just didn't know what to say. Finally she groped for the words of her response, "As much as I don't want to be alone tonight... my kids are here and... I'm still married and ..." her voice trailed off.

"Of course, of course, Alicia," Will interjected. "I'm just being clear," he said with a smile, remembering the first time he'd used those words with her years ago.

She nodded, understanding and agreeing with him. Finally, shaking off the emotion that had weakened her all evening and bracing herself, she said, "Well, big day tomorrow," as she stood up from the sofa.

Will saw that she had turned back into a more familiar Alicia, strong and confident. He figured it was a façade, designed to convince him that she was fine and she would be fine once he left for the night. He wasn't fully convinced, but he stood and followed her to the door.

"Thank you, Will," she said, her hand frozen on the door knob, unable to open the door. "It's easy to forget how well you know me."

He cringed inwardly at her words. Of course it was easy for her to forget. He placed his palms gently against her cheeks as he said, "You'll call me if you need anything."

She closed her eyes in agreement with the question that he didn't ask. In the tenderness of the moment, she felt her tears threatening to make an appearance once again. She blinked them back, and when her vision cleared, she could tell by Will's expression that he'd noticed. She opened the door to silently tell him that he needed to leave and he acquiesced with a quiet, "See you tomorrow," as he stepped out the door.

When she shut the door behind him, she leaned back against it, imagining him as he walked away and went downstairs in the elevator. She sunk to the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest and examining the road that lie ahead of her.


End file.
